Saturday, February 19, 2011

Friendly Fire

Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere...that sword-sharp tongue from a friend whose words cut so deep you feel like he or she almost hates you!  Let me start first by saying that friend probably loves you more than you could ever imagine.  So why the verbal assault in which you're the target?  Well, because you probably needed to hear the truth.  Don't get me wrong, it totally sucks to be on the receiving end of that and its perfectly normal to feel a little hurt.  But, as adults, we need to grow a thicker skin.  As much as it should be perfectly normal to feel hurt, it should be perfectly normal to use that shared information as a chance to grow and proceed as a better educated person.  In other words...grow up!  During a car ride the other night in which I was taking a friend home, he told me of all the great things he admired about my life and personality.  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little stunned. This friend is someone who had routinely gone up one side of me and down the other in the past...pointing out my shortcomings.  There were times when I wanted to strangle him and times when I just stopped talking to him for a week or so.  Then I grew up.  I started thinking hard about the things he said to me and looking deep within to see if they were true.  In 9 out of 10 cases (I won't totally concede) his words to my ears were like a darts to a bulls-eye.  So how did I go from *that guy to the one on the car ride home in which I was given an earful of bliss?  Perhaps I had blossomed into a better person based on what he'd told me about myself in the past.  Perhaps he sees the light I have inside now versus the dark that once prevailed. Perhaps he sees the fruits of verbal labor.  Perhaps I am now a better person and friend based on his words of wisdom.  Friends are not there to always tell you what you want to hear and pander to your every need.  They are wonderful human beings who care about us so much, they can tolerate our faults and give us meaningful soundbites to help us succeed.  Don't be so quick to get mad at the friend who calls you out.  Who better to get the tough love from?  A boss, a cop or someone else with authority in your life may not be so forgiving.  What the friend reveals about you may end up saving you from a far worse situation in the future.  I'm not going to reveal my friend's name as I know he's not a limelight kinda guy in situations like these.  But, "Peaches" (as that's his nickname for what I used to believe him to be anything but), thank you so much for being a wonderful friend.  I love you and love your friendly fire at times that keeps me level and in line!!

1 comment:

  1. Words to live by. Well written,from the heart. Everyone needs & should have a "best" friend to have heart felt discussions with...Patti

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