Repeat Performance

The curtain goes up and there you are...in front of the same audience, the same situation or the same set of circumstances in which you'll never receive a standing ovation.  It isn't that you didn't try, it isn't that you didn't practice and it certainly isn't that you didn't care.  To the contrary, you care too much.  In life, we often put ourselves in a spot, all with the best of intentions, only to be disappointed by the outcome.  This can be in the form of friendships, work situations, (insert your example here), etc.  We try so hard to do our best...and we do...only to be left scratching our heads wondering what went wrong.  The definition of insanity is doing something over and over expecting a different outcome, but getting the same one you've always received.  The good news is we are all insane.  The bad news is we are all insane.  To put it another way: if you repeatedly walked into a Pizza Hut trying to order a steak, but kept getting pizza, you'd eventually move on to a restaurant that serves steak...right?  It would make no sense to keep going to the pizza place to get steak.  Yet, in day to day life, we put ourselves in situations in which we are never going to get our desired outcome or "the steak".   Maybe you have a friend that is just impossible but you keep going back to make that friendship work.  Maybe you have a boss that no matter how hard you try, just doesn't see your worth.  Maybe you end up in situation where you know you're going to have a bad time but think this time will be different.  In very few instances like these, little will ever change to meet your level of satisfaction.  Again, you are well intentioned, but you are wasting your time.  Although it is natural to feel disappointed by certain outcomes, especially when you've expended a great deal of energy to make improvements; you are to blame.  Yes, you are to blame.  Stop trying and just move on.  It is extremely difficult to do and painful at times.  Believe me, I learned the hard way!  However, if you keep ending up disappointed, at some point you have to stop allowing that disappointment to happen in the first place.  You have to stop setting yourself up for failure.  When the curtain drops the next time, exit the stage for good!  By leaving the inevitable disappointments behind, you'll find new roads that will allow you to drive forward instead of the circles you once did.  As with anything in life though, just make sure bow out gracefully when you do leave the stage!  I'll see you on the bigger, better and more appreciative stage! :)

Friendly Fire

Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere...that sword-sharp tongue from a friend whose words cut so deep you feel like he or she almost hates you!  Let me start first by saying that friend probably loves you more than you could ever imagine.  So why the verbal assault in which you're the target?  Well, because you probably needed to hear the truth.  Don't get me wrong, it totally sucks to be on the receiving end of that and its perfectly normal to feel a little hurt.  But, as adults, we need to grow a thicker skin.  As much as it should be perfectly normal to feel hurt, it should be perfectly normal to use that shared information as a chance to grow and proceed as a better educated person.  In other words...grow up!  During a car ride the other night in which I was taking a friend home, he told me of all the great things he admired about my life and personality.  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little stunned. This friend is someone who had routinely gone up one side of me and down the other in the past...pointing out my shortcomings.  There were times when I wanted to strangle him and times when I just stopped talking to him for a week or so.  Then I grew up.  I started thinking hard about the things he said to me and looking deep within to see if they were true.  In 9 out of 10 cases (I won't totally concede) his words to my ears were like a darts to a bulls-eye.  So how did I go from *that guy to the one on the car ride home in which I was given an earful of bliss?  Perhaps I had blossomed into a better person based on what he'd told me about myself in the past.  Perhaps he sees the light I have inside now versus the dark that once prevailed. Perhaps he sees the fruits of verbal labor.  Perhaps I am now a better person and friend based on his words of wisdom.  Friends are not there to always tell you what you want to hear and pander to your every need.  They are wonderful human beings who care about us so much, they can tolerate our faults and give us meaningful soundbites to help us succeed.  Don't be so quick to get mad at the friend who calls you out.  Who better to get the tough love from?  A boss, a cop or someone else with authority in your life may not be so forgiving.  What the friend reveals about you may end up saving you from a far worse situation in the future.  I'm not going to reveal my friend's name as I know he's not a limelight kinda guy in situations like these.  But, "Peaches" (as that's his nickname for what I used to believe him to be anything but), thank you so much for being a wonderful friend.  I love you and love your friendly fire at times that keeps me level and in line!!

Mr. Personality

In my continued spiritual journey which began about a year and a half ago I have learned a few things: 1.) Its never going to freakin' end!  2.) The more you accomplish spiritually, the longer your "to do" list becomes (very paradoxical) 3.) You want to slap the stupidity out of people, but can't!  Don't get me wrong...my spiritual journey has been absolutely beautiful so far.  It has opened my eyes to more than I  have ever seen before, allowed me to look deep within people to see their light, and has given me the opportunity to learn more about myself with regard to how I fit into this world.   What I've recently come to determine is that it isn't so much about understanding everyone else to better understand yourself.  Its the other way around.  You have to really understand yourself to better understand everyone else.  Just when I thought I knew who I was, I went ahead and took a personality test.  There are 16 different personality types.  For example, I am type ENFJ (Extrovert, iNtuition, Feeling, Judgement).  Cliffs Notes Translation: I'm a people helping social butterfly who can't seem to help himself.  When you see who you really are, written down in front of you, its pretty enlightening and frightening.  By some accounts, I wasn't surprised by the results.  The test told me that a journalism career would be a good choice.  I spent 11 years as a journalist.  The test also told me about my many faults.  For example, I overvalue aspects of the world around me at times and completely lose sight of myself.  When I thought hard on that one I realized it was true.  So what do I do with this new found information?  I grow.  The test specifically said to look at your personality weaknesses to become a better person.  I believe that when we recognize, admit and embrace our faults we become consciously aware of them daily.  In Doing that, we allow ourselves to grow in to more caring, intellectual and spiritual people.  By working on our faults and understanding who we really are, we then begin to better understand others and refrain from rushing to judgment.  I realize this is a lot to digest.  I'm tired just thinking about all the inner-work and learning I have to do to become a better person in this world.  But, as my personality type revealed..I care a great deal about the success of others!  It is absolutely true.  So, I will continue mending my faults and making myself better so I can help you become better!  If you'd like to take the personality test, I've included the link.  Once you learn your type...google the hell out of it. There is a great deal of information beyond what the test site offers.

www.personalitytest.net/

Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" Review

RATING: **** (4 out of 4 stars)

It's no wonder why this song as gone #1 on i-tunes in 23 countries (source: perez hilton).  In "Born
This Way" Lady Gaga appeals to just about every person...gay, straight, bi, broke, rich, chola and asian and chair-bound...to be exact.  Her message about everyone being a superstar in his or her own right seems to have been festering inside Ms. Gaga for so long,  the release of this explosion had to have a far reach.  What I like about "Born This Way" is it contains classic Gaga dance beats (some reminiscent of other songs, most notably, "Dance in the Dark") while combining one of the most powerful and well-written messages about believing in oneself.  The song structure almost follows "Dance in the Dark" to a tee with a catchy melody line and a chorus that takes off perfectly.  While the song may not be as powerful as "Bad Romance", her first release of "The Fame Monster", "Born This Way" shows almost an even more mature side of Ms. Gaga who has chosen to use her music to deliver a useful, articulate message.  This song will do well on radio, in clubs and likely at drag shows where every "queen" in the country will be cat-fighting with one another to do the number.  Lyrics in the song state "Don't be a drag, just be a queen."   Sizing up this song with the rest of the album will have to wait a while as the full album release isn't expected until the end of May.  For now though, this gives Gaga's little monsters enough ear candy and quite the sugar rush for the next month or two before the next single will likely be released.  Kudo's Gaga on a song well-done!