Wednesday, April 07, 2010

This House Is NOT A Home!

And so it happens again for like the 18th time it seems in 12 years. Another home left behind...a new one awaiting my arrival. I've learned over the last month or so that getting uncomfortable in necessary in life to achieve certain goals or create a particular result. What confuses me is the comfort part of uncomfortable. How much discomfort should one be subjected? Is comfort even achievable if one subscribes to the theory that destiny is predetermined and little action on our parts can change the outcome, slightly if any? I suppose comfort is never truly achievable. I believe that new beginnings certainly come into one's life at the exact right moments. New beginnings are not a fresh start for me, rather another building block from which to grow. I suppose new beginnings are put in our paths when we've achieved the mission or goal at the current level. It makes me wonder what I've actually achieved at the current level or what insights I've gained that qualify me to move on to the next new beginning. The truth is I don't think I will ever be comfortable knowing that a new beginning is awaiting. Even if one isn't and this is my last, how will I know? I'd be more comfortable knowing this...or would I. The comfort I take to this new beginning is confidence that I will be fine because I've been down this road. I also take peace of mind knowing that each and every roommate situation has been perfect...almost too ideal in a scary way. Each roommate has also helped shape my psyche, give me new frame of mind and a sense of need to accomplish more. Edward's attention to detail, motivation, philanthropy, organization, responsibility and commitment to a particular venture or project have been incredible to watch. I don't know how he manages all he does and keeps trucking along at warp speed. In some ways I've adapted some of his routine or habits. Perhaps that's what I needed to learn to move onto the next part of my life. Brady will be next roommate. He's young, smart, funny, responsible and just an all around good guy. I never even thought that we would end up living together, but I couldn't ask for a better new roommate considering the admiration we each have for one another. So, I believe Brady has some big converse shoes to fill. Although he doesn't know it, my being his roommate is necessary for my progression. He will be my teacher of sorts and all the while not know it. Neither will I. Soon, I will forget about this blog and carry on with life on a different side of town, looking at life at different angles both literally and figuratively. Then, after some unknown amount of time has passed I will move again. I'll examine that next move and remember not just Brady but Edward, Anthony, Gary, Brian, Jeff, Nick, and all the others I have lived with over the years. At some point I will connect the dots and figure out a theme...a pattern that should become clear. I won't worry about that now. It's not meant to be known now. So I will stay uncomfortable because there is some comfort in knowing this is all supposed to lead me to my purpose and what I believe will be the most uncomfortable comfort I could ever imagine. Goodbye Edward (and Macie) I will miss you dearly! Thank you for everything. Greetings Brady, I look forward to...?